The Art of Food & Fatherhood

When I was a young girl, my father would take me and my two brothers to the San Pedro Fish Market at the Port of Los Angeles. Here we would watch as giant tankers came to port, delivering goods from around the world. The smell of fresh fish filled the air as we gazed in wonderment at the shrimp, salmon, and scallops before us. My dad brought us here to see firsthand where our food came from and to choose which fish we would bring home for dinner. Once we got home, we threw on our little chef’s hats and aprons as we played “Hell’s Kitchen”, preparing our dinner with my dad’s help and instructions. My childhood was filled with activities like this. Whether it was a holiday or an average Tuesday, my parents strived to make every day special and exciting. 

I want to focus on my dad’s story and how his experiences growing up in another country translated into his role as a father in America. My dad learned how to navigate the tricky world of fatherhood. He filled all of our days with such joy, love, knowledge, food, and more. The way he juggled three kids and made our days special is truly a work of art. 

My dad was born and raised in Limerick, Ireland, also known as the city of culture sitting on the edge of the beautiful river Shannon. Stone castles stand tall throughout the city, as well as colorful houses that line the streets. My dad’s childhood house was not as colorful, however. It was a beige, semi-detached home where he, his parents, and his three younger siblings crowded inside. His role as a caregiver started at a very young age as he looked out for his three younger siblings. He helped them with homework, cleaned the house, etc. 

Each night when their mother would return home, the children would get the table ready for dinner, pulling the small table out from the corner of the kitchen and pulling up the extension flaps. Their elbows would rest on top of the stove and they attempted to seat everyone at this small table. Their mother would throw a dinner together that many times was less than appetizing. My dad was not a fan of these dinners. Not only did he want better food, but he wanted to choose for himself what he would have dinner. In a search for better food, he would join his father at the airport where he worked, catering meals for flights. To my dad’s disappointment, there was little creativity and flavor in the hundreds of saran-wrapped airplane meals. This search for culinary artistry is where his journey with food began.

He decided to go to culinary school in Ireland to become a chef at 18. He fell in love with French cuisine. In school, he learned the art of making delicious dishes that are also pleasing to the eye. As my dad always says, “The eyes taste the food first”. He finally had a choice when it came to what was on his plate each night. His dedication and talent allowed him to become a chef at a Michelin star restaurant by age 19. At age 20 he became executive chef of a neighboring restaurant. Here he would create new dishes to be placed on the menu. He cooked stuffed sheep’s hearts for the Prime Minister of Ireland, Chateaubriand steak for U2, and other delicious dishes for the people of Ireland.

He brought his talents to America at age 21. He struggled to find work that compared to his high-class restaurant back home. He began working for a small coffee company, making sandwiches, managing kitchens, etc. His work ethic and dedication to his craft once again allowed him to work his way up to design kitchens and expand into new storefronts. This once-small coffee company was then bought out by an up-and-coming brand, at the time, called Starbucks. My dad worked as their executive chef, designing kitchens across the country, creating sandwich recipes, preparing menus, and so on. So the next time you bite into your favorite breakfast sandwich at Starbucks, you can thank my dad. Designing those kitchens and creating recipes required creativity, structure, and devotion to his craft. 

This job required my dad to travel around the country almost every weekend. One trip in particular changed his life forever. On September 11, 2001, my dad was supposed to be at a meeting for Starbucks in the Twin Towers, which he luckily decided to cancel. As he was headed to the airport, he saw the second plane crash into the second twin tower. After that dreadful day, everyone in the country was reevaluating what is really important in life. This is when my dad realized that there didn’t have to be such a divide between his food and family, so he decided to become a stay-at-home dad. 

It was difficult for him to become a stay-at-home parent and leave his cooking career behind. Not only because it is a difficult task in and of itself to become a stay-at-home parent, but because of the typical European households. Not many men in general, but especially European men, stay home with the kids while the wife/mother is out working. My dad felt pressure to prove himself to his family in Ireland as well as other family members and friends in the U.S. that this was a more than acceptable role for a man to play in his family’s lives. He knew that to do this well, it once again required creativity, structure, and dedication to his craft. 

My dad made sure to not just fill our schedules with time-wasting activities that kept us busy but to fill them with a balance between culturally enriching, educational, and fun activities. We would go to Chinatown in Downtown Los Angeles to learn about Chinese culture. We walked the colorful Chinatown streets learning about Chinese history and traditions. My brothers and I watched in wonderment as trays of steaming hot plates of duck and dim sum were brought to our table by people in beautiful silk outfits. We went to musical events at the Hollywood Bowl where we learned traditional songs and dances of many countries, Brazilian being the one that stood out to me most. We attended an Irish Fair every year where we played Irish sports like hurling and Gaelic football. We celebrated our wins with delicious Irish dishes like soda bread, Irish stew, and colcannon (a form of mashed potatoes with cabbage and onions). These activities were not chosen at random; they required thorough research and planning. The way my dad combines food, culture, and education from around the world into our daily lives while keeping our house and my parent’s business up and running is truly a work of art. 

I don’t think anyone can truly master the art of fatherhood, but I think my dad is the closest you can get. He thought his days of being a stay-at-home parent were nearing an end as my older brother and I left home for college and work, and my youngest brother was applying to colleges. When COVID-19 hit, that all changed. Before he knew it, his three kids were back at home again. He was preparing five dinners every night, each person getting to choose their own meal, unlike his dinners as a child. This is once again a time in American history when everyone is reevaluating what is important in life. It has allowed families to truly value their time together. Even though me and my brothers are growing up, we know our dad will always be there for us when we need him. Even now as a 20-year-old, my dad is eager to stand by my side and help me write this article as he is preparing dinner. Parenting is no easy task, but when done well, it can truly be a work of art.