My First Hostel Experience
With hands on my hips and sweat dripping down my temples, I stared down at my new enemy: the sheets on my hostel bed. It was my first time staying in a hostel, and I felt like I was already failing my first test of putting the sheets on the bed. Before you laugh or scoff, I was very nervous and felt rushed to tighten the sheets on the bed before any of my five roommates came in to see me struggling with such a remedial task. This was a frantic start to my two-day stay at Wombat’s City Hostel London in April 2022. I considered it a practice round for my upcoming months-long solo backpacking trip.
On my first night, I wandered down to the hostel bar that felt like an underground speakeasy. The brick walls formed round archways guiding you through the space like a large tunnel. As I walked through the bar, I felt like all eyes were on me.
“They must know I am alone”
“Don’t look awkward”
“Make yourself small”
All those thoughts came to mind as my anxiety spiked, and I felt like I was having that dream where you are standing naked in the school cafeteria. While I was indeed fully clothed, I felt naked. I felt like everyone could see my vulnerability in being there on my own. That night was one of the worst nights of sleep (or lack thereof) that I have ever had. Anxiety had a strong grip on me. My thoughts raced like a ball getting smacked around a pinball machine. My stomach churned as my intrusive thoughts made their way to the forefront of my brain once again.
“How am I going to do this for months if I can’t do it for one night?”
“Am I really cut out for this?”
After making it through the night, I felt like I had both succeeded and failed at something. I was proud of myself for pushing through on my own but I also felt like a baby for how difficult it had been. I had to try something different. My new plan became taking everything one day and one interaction at a time. I have never been the kind of person to make friends quickly. I recognized that would not change overnight. My goal going into night two was to talk to one person. And that’s exactly what I did. I got drinks at the hostel bar with a girl from my room and I felt the momentum of the journey I was about to take kick in; The baby steps that I would take throughout Europe. That night I slept soundly and woke up feeling accomplished.
Flash forward to October of 2022. I was back in London after 3 months of backpacking through 15 European countries. Down at the bar, a music round was being played in trivia. As the song “Footloose” broke out over the speakers, the host announced,
“Anyone who dances gets extra points!”, in an effort to liven up the crowd.
Before I knew it, I was on my feet and kicking them in front of me in Kevin Bacon’s iconic style in front of the crowded bar. The same crowded bar where I had felt naked a few months before. Now, I stood tall on my own and danced my heart out as a final celebration of what I had accomplished.
So, if you are considering solo travel and/or staying in hostels, allow yourself room to adjust to new settings and new people. As a more reserved person, I had to work twice as hard as a natural extrovert to meet people, but it got easier over time. There will be people around you who seem like they fit in everywhere, and maybe they do, but that doesn’t lessen who you are. Be kind and patient with yourself, but also be bold enough to take a leap of faith. It was the best decision I ever made.